I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize