we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
