my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I want her autograph on my taint
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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