so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
