This girl is more easily done than said...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
