I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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