She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
