Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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