Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
