so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
