My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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