Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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