didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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