Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
