and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
