well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
