love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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