We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize