So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize