You can't special order awesome
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's get the cat blown out
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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