this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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