I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
