My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
