Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize