its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
