im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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