What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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