So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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