Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
