the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize