This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
