remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
