she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
