Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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