He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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