Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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