Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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