I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Randomize
