I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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