Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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