i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
