my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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