Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
