If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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