New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
