Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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