a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
