No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i will never coherently bang her
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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