he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
