Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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