I cockslap morals
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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