Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
All I want is dick and wine.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
