I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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