I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
