I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
