i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
