well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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