today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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