I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
