I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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