u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
