god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
