i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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