The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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