I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
