is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
