So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
